i think you can't search all the problems on the server. we can turn it around and say: a good software will take the optimal maximum resources of a server, not a server will take them of the software.
i think especially the members database needs develpoment. if you have 20k members then you have 20k files, you now how long time it takes to access one file out of those 20k in one folder?
allthough the pms are a big problem. user register, write 20 pms, never come back. you delete their accounts but the pms still remain on the server. guess you have a board 4 years running then you will collect millions of dead pms (like I have it now).
concerning infopop about this the answer just was "sorry there is no way to delete old pms".
the admins interface should give out more statistics, so you can easily recognize where your board slows down etc. i guess there are many features which could be included in ubb to make it faster. maybe infopop also should think about to include some mysql functions for better management (maybe user optional like some other bbs do it)
as for the server. i run an 900 mhz Celeron SuSe Linux Server on Apache, 100% best configured and the server runs ONLY for the forum.
this was not a thread to bring UBB down or to complain about, i just recognized those facts and I liked to know what other users think about it (experiances etc.)