Here it is
Oh! How could I ignore this lovely piece of craftsmanship? Oh, yes, it had flaws, sure: lack of punctuation, no capital letters, but the topic is rather nice. I like it! I give you an A-. Yes, I think you are off to a fine start in the world of tests! Keep up the good work, and make this nation proud! AMERICA SALUTES YOU! (and if you do well on your next test, you might even get some medals and a free toaster!! )
I admire the original poster of this message for their bravery in posting a test, though they lacked the proper training and did not know how to present a more professional test. I do believe, though, that to present a test, one must go to the University of Professionally Presented Tests (UPPT). Therefore, in order to properly educate the Internet population on the subject of posting tests, I will be taking requests via email for the Official Guide To Tests (written by yours truly) and, if one wishes to gain an even broader understanding of the fine art of tests) an application to UPPT. We have many forms for test writing, and, if you are not sure if a degree in Test Writing is for you, here is just one sample of our many test forms.
I [your name here], do hereby decree that this test is my own work and stat that I will fully hold the burden of the blame if there is any physical, psychological, or other damage to any person or persons reading this whether they be male, female, extraterrestrial, transsexual, or otherwise. I also state the fact that no animals were harmed in the process of this test, and that no children will be without food and clothing due to it. I sincerely hope that no elderly women have had a heart attack while reading this test, jumped off of a flying squirrel, wanted to be a lumberjack, bought a dead parrot, were killed or suffered supreme pain by hearing the word "Ni" or Jehovah", or decided as a result of this test to put on fishnets and a garter belt and do the time warp again. If you have any complaints about this test or have found it in any way offensive, I will PERSONALLY, and I emphasize the word "PERSONALLY", come around to your house, drag you out by the scruff of your neck, belt you around the mouth, and mouth you around the belt, do you understand what I'm saying? Following this, I will proceed to paint your house a lovely color, wash your car, take your kids to the zoo (and, if you lack in children, take an entire grade school of poor children who have been deprived of the experience of a zoo), clip your nose hair, shave your tongue, and take you out to a lovely dinner in Paris. Thank you, and have an extremely nice day.
Now THAT is a fine example of a properly presented test. If you are interested in reading the Official Guide To Tests, or the application to UPPT, I am just an email away and will send either or both out ASAP, or as soon as I, er, *cough* WRITE it, whichever may come first. Thank you and please ignore spelling errors, they are the result of my evil twin and do not in any way express my personal views, you silly pooftah
