Yikes!
I know from having had several web hosts over the years, that even the best host is not perfect for all people. I am surprised at the lack of this same understanding from UBBDev posters. Every host has good reasons for what they do, but even the best can and do make mistakes. Try typing the name of any web hosting company in Google and add the word "sucks", you'll see what I mean.
While I am not currently a 1and1.com customer, I must admit that I checked them out after reading this post! I too was astounded by their lengthy print advertising. But I suppose the competition in the hosting market is so fierce they don't have too much choice if they want to grow in the US.
The features they offer are exceptional for the price. Some hosts out there don't even offer phone support, so some phone support is better than none. My instinct tells me that more advanced site owners really shouldn't need as much support from their host as newbies and shouldn't be surprised if they know more tahn some average tech support guy.
Looking at posts around the web from angry 1&1 customers, it seems that most of them were "freebie" customers who were only really promised email support, but expected more. These freebie accounts were given away over 1 year ago, but still there continues to be moaning...
As for 1&1 keeping mysql databases on a seperate server from your site, it may be a bit more work to make connection strings, but it does seem like it might have some security benefits.
I will likely give 1and1.com the benefit of the doubt and use their root server for an up coming project. I know I will be responsible for backups, updates, etc. but the price and server config is pretty good. I can pay someone else to manage it well for me!
I called their Info Line phone number (only waited 4 minutes) and they assured me that with regards to their emails, I could easily remove myself from all 1&1 mailings by changing my "preferences" for such mailings in my 1&1 customer control panel. They answered all my pre-purchase questions fine (but none were too overly technical).
I do understand the angst of previous posters, but would remind readers that angered consumer voices are always more prevelant than happy ones.
I always make a decision on my own and try to take all reviews/experiences with a big dose of skepticism. Just be careful what you buy, read the fine print, and know when to "bail out" if something doesn't meet your expectation.
Just my .02
g33k3d 4 sure
PS - Best Wishes to the UBBDev Community in the coming New Year! May your Forums grow and your web hosts not crash...