Why I Didn't Show Up For Work....
"I had twelve bottles of whiskey in my cellar, and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each bottle down the sink... or else. So I said I would, and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the drain with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank; pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out ot the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drank and drinked the pour. When I had every one emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, and glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 29, and as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle which I drank.
I was not under tho alcofluence of incohol, as some theople pink I was.
I was not as thunk as you might drink. I felt so feelish, I didn't know who was me, and the drunker I stood there the longer I got."
